My Short Story

For this piece of writing I have focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to:

• use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
• use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (e.g semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)

The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal.

                                             The Kidnap 

Once upon a time, there lived an 18 year old girl named Rebecca; she lives in Auckland with her mum. Rebecca and Rosie, her best friend’s, both went camping with their families all the time when they were younger they basically grew up camping. That is why they both want to go camping together but without there parents. Rebecca and Rosie are both adventurous people but still sensible they always have been quite bubbly though.

So one day when the weather looked good for the weekend they decided to go. They got all their equipment prepared and drove to the camping site. They got there at about 3 pm, the first thing they did was set up the tent and there sleeping bags. After they had set up all the stuff, they had dinner it was about 9 pm. Then they decided to go to sleep when they were fully asleep the was a man nearby that they didn’t know in his house watching them.

The man came out of his house eventually and took them out of their tent one by one and back to his house. He laid them down on the ground in a room with no windows or anything bar a door that he locked.

When they woke up they looked around the room and found that they had been kidnapped. So they started screaming “help” as loudly as they could. Then they decided to try opening the door but it didn’t move then the man came in and told them to be quiet.

After an hour of screaming the door suddenly opened and another man came in once again someone they didn’t know but that man asked them what happened and why are you screaming?. Next the girls said we will explain later and ran out of the room. On the way back to Rebecca's house they explained what had happened to the man. When they got there both of their parents were there having morning tea together and Rebecca's mum asked why are you back so early then they explained to them. Both of their parents were shocked to hear what had happened while thanking the man for finding them.

Next time they go camping they are going to go with a bigger group and they lived happily by themselves and have traveled around the world with all their friends. Rebecca has gotten a job as a camp instructor to show people how to protect themselves when they go camping. Rebecca has taken 100’s of kids to explain what to do if the same thing happens to them as it did to them.